It's for the better
by thinkingintheshower
Summary: As a couple, you make decisions together. To have kids, to not have kids. But when you're no longer a couple, you call all the shots on your own without ever knowing whether you made the right decision. But we keep telling ourselves it's for the better.
1. Prologue

Title: It's for the better

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fanfic.

* * *

**Prologue**

Callie's POV

Life is so much more difficult than you thought of as a kid. There's that word again. Kids. No matter what thoughts I have in my head… They always lead me back to her.

It's pure irony. She works with kids. I break and re-build bones. But I want kids, and she definitely has made it clear that she doesn't want them in her womb or in her house.

I've tried… So hard. I've tried my best not to want kids for her sake. I tried changing for her. But I know deep down that I'll always want kids. It might not be right now, but I know for sure that someday, I would want kids. And she didn't seem to share the same thoughts I had about how wonderful being a mother could be. It isn't as if I didn't try to understand. I tried, I really did. That seemed to have led to the end of our relationship. Trying. We were always trying.

Then one day, I was sick of trying. Trying to pretend that I honestly did not want kids if it meant I could be with her. And now I'm here. Crying in Mark Sloan's arms because I just walked away from the love of my life.

* * *

_Flashback to the end of the shooting._

"_People died. People are dead."_

_She stared at me while I said those words. I looked right back into those gorgeous blue eyes intently. Trying to find something, anything. But they were closed off to me. And it was then that I decided that I had to stop 'trying'._

"_I love you. Everything about you." _

_Silence.  
_

"_But I don't want you to change just because of me. I want you to change for you."_

_I walked away without looking back. _

_Arizona never held me back._

_And the hot tears fell down my cheeks.  
_

* * *

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Yea… thanks Mark."

My lie slipped smoothly off my lips. I knew he could tell I was lying. But he didn't have the energy to argue with me.

We continue to sit in silence. Neither able to say a word. I knew he was thinking about Lexie and he knew I was thinking about Arizona.

We were both broken. Broken by the people we loved. People who were either not ready to commit to a relationship or having a family with kids. A shooter was at the hospital. People died. We could have died. Yet, here we were, sitting down. A luxury Reed or Percy no longer have.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing?"

"Letting them go?" Mark still had his head down. He looked so defeated and… just broken.

"Yea."

I needed someone to tell me that what I was doing was okay. Anyone.

"I don't know."

Even Mark did not have the answers. We were broken before. Sex used to make us feel better. But our minds were far away from any thoughts of sex. It seemed to have been able to help with our pain then, but now, it barely made an entrance into our thoughts.

"It's for the better."

And again, I tried to convince myself that everything that happened up till now, was for the better.

* * *

**This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic. I'm still writing fluff for my collection of one-shots but I wanted to try something darker and probably more dramatic.**

**Let me know if it's worth continuing?**

**=)  
**


	2. Chapter 1

**Thank you for those who reviewed! It was encouragement for me to write this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Callie's POV

It's been almost a month since the shooter came and messed up everyone's lives. The hospital was in disarray for a few days but that gave Callie some much needed time off from her own life. She had spent as much time as she could with Mark as he, just like her, could not get over his love. But a week ago, she made a choice. And since that decision, she couldn't face Mark for more than 10 minutes at a time. She knew he would see right through her. She knew that her façade wouldn't last long but she wasn't ready to tell.

"You're hiding something."

The sudden noise caused a violent jerk from the orthopaedic surgeon.

"God, Mark. Don't creep up on me like that."

"I didn't creep up on you Callie. I stood here for a while just staring at you. Hoping you would stop daydreaming so you could come with me for a consult."

I could see his eyes fill with pity. I didn't like that look at all.

"I'm sorry, was I out that long?" I try to change the look on his face but it's still there.

"You're hiding something," he repeats. "Callie, I am your best friend. You can tell me anything. So tell me what is it that you're so hesitant on telling me. And stop running off and changing the subject every time I manage to catch you."

I tear myself away from his gaze because I know I'm going to crumble and let the cat out of the bag. But not yet. I'm just not ready for anyone to know yet.

"I promise I will tell you. But I'll do it when I'm ready okay?" I plead with him with sad puppy dog eyes and pray that it will work.

"And no more conversations less than 10 minutes long?" the little boy with insecurities made an appearance as he was seeking assurance from me.

"No more. I swear." I give him a small smile and we head towards the elevators to get to his patient.

This has been my life so far. This has been my life of fake smiles and fake yes-im-perfectly-fine sentences so well rehearsed I barely have to think of saying them before the words rush out of my mouth.

* * *

I finished the consult in 10 minutes and after that, found myself in the attending's lounge to chart.

As I begin scrawling on a chart which required a lot more concentration and effort than the other, the door opens and someone takes a seat opposite of me.

"Arizona."

I didn't have to look to know it was her. I could tell from the way her footsteps entered to room. And her sweet scent gave her identity away as well.

"Callie."

The name that falls from her lips is not one I am used to hearing. The tone itself sounded foreign. But it was the tone I have been accustomed to hearing since we broke up. It wasn't a tone of pity. It was a tone that she used when she wanted to say something but was holding back.

"How was your day?"

She makes small talk. It's like our way of talking without actually talking, if you know what I mean.

"Good. Maybe even great." I give a short curt reply and dip back down into my charts.

"Great. That's great."

I may not be able to see it, but I can sense her nervousness. I can sense her eyes darting left and right. I can sense her fingers lapping over each other without needing to look.

A few more minutes of silence between us continues. The only noise discernible is the scratching of my ball point pen against the paper.

Then the door opens again.

"Hey Arizona, there you are. Oh hey Callie."

"How's it going Teddy?" I answer to be polite but my eyes remain on the chart I was scribbling on.

"Good, good." She turns back to Arizona, "You ready for a round at Joe's?"

"Sure, just let me grab my stuff and I will meet you in the lobby in 10."

Teddy exits the room but Arizona stays right where she is.

"Uhm, do you, uhhh." She stutters. Arizona Robbins does not stutter.

I look up at her gorgeous blue eyes and she starts to form sentences again.

"Uhm, do you want to join us for drinks at Joe's? It'll be on me." She gives off one of her extremely adorable nervous smiles and there's anticipation in her eyes.

"Oh, I uh quit drinking."

The surprise on her face is not unexpected. That is, until her facial expression changes to that of worry and she starts rambling, "You're not sick are you? You're not suffering from a liver problem or anything right? Cause if you are I would have liked to know and someone should have told me… no you should have told me or at least someone else should have and… or is there another problem with your blood? You're O positive right? If you need anything I'm more than happy to donate and... and... are you...? you know, sick?"

"Oh god no. I am not sick." I wasn't able to stop her mid-rant because I missed her rants. I missed how she could just go on and on and not stop. I missed… her. "I quit drinking for personal reasons. That's all."

I knew that she knew I was declining her offer. She took a long breath and slowly stood up.

"I guess… I'll see you around then?"

She gives a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes and turns around to leave.

Before she heads out the door I manage to say, "Take care now."

She nods and makes a swift exit.

Take care now? What was I thinking? Those were not the three words I wanted to tell her. But I couldn't. No matter how hard it was, I couldn't say the three words I wanted to tell her the most. Every time she entered a room I could smell her. Every time I close my eyes before I sleep I see her. Every time I dreamed, I dreamt of her.

And every time she walked out of a room I was in, my heart would sink. It would sink and it would feel as it someone had a hold of my heart and was squeezing it with all their might. Whenever she walked out of a room, she walked out with a piece of my heart.

* * *

Arizona's POV

I slammed down shot after shot. I think I might have downed 5 shots of tequila in the span of almost a minute.

"You might want to slow down there." An almost worried Teddy said after downing a similar number of shots.

"Well I guess we might want to slow down then."

Teddy sat down in silence as Arizona studied her. Her back was slouched, hands gripping the shot glass of tequila as if her life depended on it. Not very different from the pose she was sporting.

"He chose Cristina."

"I know."

"You chose to leave Callie."

"I know."

"How can you choose to leave someone you love? How can you choose to leave behind the love of your life?"

She had turned to face me when she asked those questions. I didn't need to look at her to see the slight anger in her eyes when she spoke.

My gaze remained on the newly filled shot glass of tequila.

"I don't know."

And the liquid slid down my throat, almost burning me. But it wasn't even able to put a blanket over the heartache I felt of letting her go.

She may have been the one say that she didn't know where we were going, effectively breaking up with me, but I was the one who made the choice to keep going when she first brought up the subject of kids. I knew how badly she wanted kids. Yet I made the choice to let her believe that she didn't want kids. So I made the choice to let her go.

My heart hurt for the umpteenth time that day.

* * *

Callie's POV

It wasn't the sex that I missed the most. Mindblowingly fantastic it was... And it wasn't the kissing or making out or cuddling either.

It was all the small gestures.

The way she was so content to just stare at me when she thought I was still asleep. The way she does her hair to torture me all day at the hospital. The way she slept, always squeezing me into a tiny part of the bed just to get close. The way she brushed her teeth.

All the little things that made our relationship was what I missed the most.

It became hard to take a shower today. Why? Because I ran out of shampoo. Now what does this have to do with Arizona you ask? Whenever I ran out of shampoo, I used Arizona's. She never ran out of anything. She had a habit of keeping stocks of everything. A habit I clearly did not possess. So today, I ran out of shampoo and there was no bottle of coconut shampoo in the bathroom for me to steal from.

I walked out to the 24hr convenience store down the block with wet hair. I came back to the apartment and only then, only then did I realise I bought the shampoo she used.

I slumped down onto the floor. There were no tears. I was tired of crying. But I clutched on to the bottle of shampoo. I was so in my own world that I didn't notice Cristina come in until she plopped herself beside me.

"Callie."

Cristina and I were never the best of friends. We were roommates. That was about it.

"Do you still love her?"

I don't even listen to what she's saying. I can't hear her. I can only hear what my brain is telling me to say. The thing I've been hiding from the entire hospital other than the Chief. The thing I've been hiding from Mark. Even though I'm supposed to tell Mark because he's my best friend.

I turn to Cristina. I open my mouth and at first, the words don't come out.

But Cristina is patient. She may be a robot, but when she needs to be, she knows how to be patient. We may have our differences, but i feel as if I can tell her. I can tell her and she wouldn't judge me or try to persuade me otherwise.

I twist my body to face her properly. I bring my eyes to hers and I whisper the words.

"I joined the army as an orthopaedic trauma surgeon."

* * *

**How was that as the first chapter? I hope I managed to capture the characters. I am not abandoning my collection of one-shots. I will probably write one for It's Just the Two of Us in a few days. For now, this will do!**

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are AWESOME.  
**


	3. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much to those who reviewed! This is for you guys =)**

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Callie's POV

Cristina is the first person other than the chief to know that I joined the army. It's not as if I don't trust her more than I trust Mark. We have a strange bond, she knows when to leave me alone and she knows when to say something. So I'm guessing that my brain thought that she might give me some useful… advice? Or something?

Or maybe that's at least what my brain hoped would happen because she gave me 'a look'. One blank look that had no emotion, well, not that I could read her as well as Meredith, but I'm pretty sure its blank. Sort of?

Then out of nowhere she abruptly gets up, walks to her bedroom and shuts the door.

I wince at the door slamming. After a few minutes of silence, and I was just contemplating drinking the night away with my dear friend Mr. Tequila, when she opens the door with a force and stares at me. Is that angry I see in her eyes now?

"You tried to stop George from joining the army." She barks at me.

"I did."

Yeap, definitely some anger in her eyes.

"You tried to stop George and now you're telling me you joined the army? What the hell Callie!"

"Cristina, I-"

"No!" She snaps. She raises her hands and points at me. "You shut up. Just shut up. I am the one talking now!"

I obediently shut my mouth and allow her to continue. She takes a deep breath to collect herself and starts again.

"You know what, never mind. Join the damn army. Go be a damn hero." She spat at me. I was feeling pretty hurt until then. But her last words put a knife right through my heart.

"Go and get killed."

* * *

After Cristina's… whatever it was. I was pulled out of my confusion. I knew that I had made my decision and I had to follow through. Before then, I felt as if I was torn in two. Torn between changing my mind and just staying here and leaving Seattle to join the war.

I was in very deep thought when I felt someone tug at my elbow and drag me into the attending's lounge before I can even say a word.

"What the hell Mark?" I discovered who my momentary captor was when they stopped tugging.

"Tell me what it is you're hiding from everyone. I've gone to everyone and only Yang seemed to know. Why does she know and I don't Callie? When I asked her, she said that you have to tell me yourself. What is so worth hiding that you can't even trust me enough to tell me. Me. Your supposed best friend Callie."

He had folded his arms halfway through and was now staring down on me like some child who stole her sister's lollipop when their parents weren't looking.

"Look Mark, I just-"

"Stop stalling and tell me right now Callie Iphigenia Torres."

Ouch. He meant business when he said my full name. The uncertainty I had before I told Cristina was no longer there. I looked up at Mark and told him what I have been hiding with confidence.

"I joined the army to be an orthopaedic trauma surgeon." The exact same words I had spoken to Cristina.

I could tell that a million things crossed his mind in a very short amount of time. And then he seemed to settle on one emotion. The very same emotion Cristina bared to me when I told her.

"YOU JOINED THE ARMY?"

Anger.

"Keep it down Mark!"

"NO I WILL NOT KEEP IT DOWN! WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? WHY WOULD YOU JOIN THE ARMY? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?"

"MARK!"

"NO! I AM NOT KEEPING IT DOWN BECAUSE I CARE. I CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT YOU TO JUST LET YOU DIE THERE."

"I am not going to die Mark."

"Oh yeah? Can you assure me of that? Can you, one hundred percent assure that you will not die? CAN YOU?"

His sudden outburst gave me a small shock, but I managed to say something back.

"You're angry. I get it. I felt the same way when I found out George joined the army. But Mark-"

"Why?" He effectively cuts me off. "Is it because of Arizona?"

"No. This is not about her. This is about me. I want to save lives."

"You can save lives perfectly over here in Seattle."

By the time he finishes his sentence I grow frustrated. I throw my hands up and give him a piece of my mind.

"You are like some stubborn little boy who doesn't know how to give up! I joined the army. I am an adult who can decide to join the army to save lives if she wants. George was supposed to join the army and save lives. George died before he even got to enter the army. So you know what? I joined the army and I don't plan to die until I live to a ripe old age." I take a breath and continue feeling better now that I've let a lot off my chest, "And one more thing. This has nothing to do with Arizona."

I sounded convincing up until I mentioned Arizona. And Mark could tell.

"Don't lie to me damn it."

For a moment, we take a break from arguing. At least I thought we were taking a break until he walked right up to me and shook me hard.

"Don't lie to me and say this has nothing to do with Arizona. It has everything to do with her! Everything!"

"FINE. MAYBE IT DOES. DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY?"

It's now Mark's turn to be a little shocked at my outburst. It shows on his face, but I continue talking.

"Why I can't sleep well at night anymore? Why I can't enjoy cooking anymore? It's because I don't know who I am without her. I don't know who the hell Callie Torres is without Arizona Robbins beside her. She isn't willing to bend for me. And I don't know whether there's something wrong with me or whatever. So maybe I'm being selfish, but I joined the army to save lives and to find out who the hell I am."

I finish my short speech and look at Mark, expecting him to reply. To tell me that its stupid of me to join the army to find myself. But instead, he turns around, wrenches the door open…

"Mark what are you-"

"Callie joined the army everybody!" He turns around and looks at me right in the eye, "She joined the freakin' army!" He stomps off, leaving everyone who heard to stare at me.

Okay. Everyone is now officially mad at me. I was now the hypocrite. The one who joined the army after organising an intervention to stop George from joining the army.

Just as I thought things could not get worse. I see Arizona standing not very far away from where the conversation, or more like argument between Mark and I had taken place.

I refuse to look at her long enough to see what facial expression she is sporting and turn my heels to leave.

* * *

Arizona's POV

My Heelys bring me to the nurses station outside the attending's lounge just in time to see most of the nosy nurses and doctors stare into the attending's lounge. The lounge is a lot more sound proof than a patient room or on-call room so everyone seemed to be attempting the lip-read. But I can tell from the body language that they were arguing about something. Just as quickly as I arrive, Mark Sloan comes out of the room. Angry. Yes, I think the appropriate word to use is angry. About what though? My question is answered when he reveals what their conversation is about.

"Callie joined the army everybody! She joined the freakin' army!"

I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. I turned my attention to Calliope to see her cover her eyes with her hands before taking them off and shoving them into her lab coat pockets. She then looked straight at me. It was an extremely quick and not so subtle glance, and then she walked off.

My feet automatically moved towards her direction. But my mind stopped them from moving any further.

She's not my girl anymore, I shouldn't follow her.

"I think she needs a friend. Yang has been grumpy all morning. And Sloan just walked out on her. She needs a friend."

I've always heard that Alex was a jerk, but what he just said was something worth listening to. It was thanks to Alex that I bolted to where I knew Calliope was headed to.

* * *

I run up the stairs towards the roof as fast as my legs can carry me. I open the door leading to the roof and gasp at the sight before me.

For some strange reason, she had been facing the door. The wind was blowing through her hair and her eyes… her eyes look sorry and maybe a teeny bit defeated? I opened my mouth to say something, but quickly shut it again.

"Are you angry too?" It's almost a whisper, but it's loud enough for me to hear it.

I stall at answering her question. Because honestly, I have no idea what to think. I just knew that Alex was right in saying she needed a friend.

"I thought you might need a friend."

I knew she expected me to say that I wasn't angry. But I couldn't lie and say that I wasn't, is it wrong of me to think she would've come to me to tell me personally instead of finding out at the same time everyone else did?

"I thought I would at least have your support Arizona."

I remain silent. I think she takes it as needing to say more.

"There aren't enough doctors over there. That's what you said. I'm going there to save lives. Why are people trying to stop me from doing that? I totally understand where George is coming from now. I can't believe I was so stupid as to organise an intervention. Stupid, stupid, stupid Callie."

Her rambling has always been cute. But this time, it isn't. What she's rambling on about is serious. I won't deny that I am still madly, deeply and insanely in love with this woman. I don't want her to die. Even if she isn't my girlfriend anymore. I don't want her to die. So I try persuading her the only way I know will be effective. Even if it will most definitely hurt her feelings.

"You panic when placed under intense pressure. You panic when you haven't done or at least seen a procedure done. You have been used to the latest technology in this hospital. That doesn't spell out the most wonderful trauma surgeon to me Callie. Cristina, Mark and everyone else, they're angry because they don't want you to die. They care about you. I care about you. I don't want you to die."

The tears have started falling and I didn't even realise it until my vision started getting blurred by them.

"I love you."

Before I could even think to stop myself, the words had slipped out. Those three words I have been wanting to say since we went our separate ways.

Instead of the 'I love you too' that I was so used to hearing a few months ago in response, she walked right past me without saying anything.

But then she stopped at the door.

With our backs facing each other, "You made your decision Arizona." She sighs. "And I have made mine." I don't miss the icy tone.

Well that sure went wonderfully and go on to mentally slap myself.

* * *

Callie's POV

"I for one think you made a good choice Dr. Torres."

"Thank you sir."

The Chief seems to be the only one on my side at the moment. And that makes me feel a little bit better. But only a little… the one person I had actually expected the most support from was just as angry as the rest of my close friends.

Great. Just Great.

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**This chapter isn't as exciting as the previous one. I just wanted to cover most of the reactions. But I will most definitely be picking up the pace soon!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone! I am so so so so very sorry about such a late update. I will offer no excuses! just apologies!**

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Callie's POV

I can't believe it has already been half a year since I enlisted. I was to go on tour to Afghanistan next week. After juggling my job at Seattle Grace and basic army training. I was ready.

My parents did everything they could to convince me to change my mind but I was ready for them too. We sat down and talked about it all night. By the end of my visit, they were supportive and already eager for the end of my tour. It was going to be a tough year. 12 months running around to where I was needed.

I made sure to spend more time with Owen in the hospital to gain more experience in the trauma field. It was Owen who got Cristina to be more supportive of my decision, she didn't say it to my face, but I knew she still felt uncomfortable with it. I knew my roommate better than she thought I did.

On the other hand Mark tried to be cheery. The cheer may have been forced, but he was as proud as my father was of me, he was always telling everyone I was practising my godliness just a little farther away and that my badass attitude would be back at Seattle Grace before they knew it. But there was something else that I hadn't told anybody.

I hadn't told anybody that Chief Webber had sat me down one afternoon. He had looked tired and I could tell he was finding it difficult to say what he was about to tell me.

He took a deep breath before he started and crossed his arms before me, "Dr Torres." He started, and then took another deep breath, "I'm afraid I cannot guarantee that your job will be here when you get back."

I knew it was coming. I was prepared for it to happen.

"Yes sir."

"I'm more than sad to see one of the best ortho surgeons I have ever come across leave my hospital. So you better come back alive Torres."

I stood up and shook his hand firmly, "I plan on doing that Sir. Thank you."

* * *

Arizona's POV

"And this is where I hang out most of the time." I point to the attending's lounge. "Filling up paperwork or updating charts. That sort of thing."

"I see." My father gruffly replies.

I can see the approval and pride in his eyes even though he refuses to let it show in his voice.

"Not that I want you gone so quickly Daddy, but how long are you here for?" I stand on my tippy toes as I nervously ask him.

"Just a couple of days. Your mother wanted me to check on you. So where's Callie?"

Ahh there's the father I know and love. Straight to the point.

"She should be in the hospital. Somewhere?"

"Should be? You should know. Don't you two live with each other?"

I was just about to answer when an intern and said person came into hearing distance.

"Handle Mr. Kay's post ops and let me know if there's any changes." Charts switch hands and the click of a pen is heard.

"Right away Dr Torres." The intern shuffles off leaving Callie on her own.

Before I can stop him he walks right to Callie. Damn my father walks fast!

"You Callie Torres?"

She shifts a little uncomfortably and places the pen in her coat pocket.

"Yes Sir. And you are?" Her eyebrows fold together in the most adorable way before my father spreads out his arms to welcome her into the Robbins famous bear hug.

"Come here and give this old man a hug!"

An audible 'Ooff' is heard from Callie as my father gave her a bone-crushing hug.

I see her look at me, expecting an explanation. I mouth to her, "My dad!"

She mouths back, "You didn't tell him?"

Before I get a chance to reply, the hug is over and he wraps the two of us in another bone-crushing Robbins hug.

"Gotta be my lucky day ey? I get to spend time with my two favourite girls in Seattle!"

I give him a big toothy grin and pray that Calliope will tag along.

She gives a big smile when he turns to her and I feel a little teeny bit of relief.

I haven't told my parents about the break up because I know they will be super disappointed to find that their daughter didn't want kids.

None of her previous relationships had gone as far as this so her parents wouldn't have known about her not wanting to have kids.

They barely make ten steps when April stops right in front of them and scoops Arizona away for an emergency surgery. She gives her dad a quick hug and suggests going back to her apartment.

"I'm already here! I'll just spend time getting to know Callie while you're gone. Go on then. Get going already!"

He turns around to face Callie and I give her an apologetic smile, again hoping that she will play along.

"Why don't we head to the cafeteria Sir?"

"Call me Dan! So tell me Callie, where did you grow up?"

* * *

Callie's POV

"I grew up in Miami, weather is a lot better than over here in Seattle that's for sure!" I give him a nervous chuckle and hope that I don't give away what I assume Arizona has yet to tell her parents.

He stares at me while I'm talking and I assume that he's sizing me up. Checking whether I was good enough for his daughter. I smile, seeing how much he cared for Arizona.

"Are you going through a rough patch with my daughter young lady?"

Ouuu damn. Wasn't expecting that! Think Callie think...

"Well, Sir- I mean Dan, I just… Well… You know-"

"I thought so."

"Huh? What are you on about? Of course not!"

"I may have just met you Callie, but you're making it painfully obvious here."

The jig is up Arizona.

I sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. I knew there was something off the moment I came into the hospital. She talks about you all the time Callie, the moment she answers my phone call. And yet, when she saw me, she insisted we go on a hospital tour rather than introducing her father to her girlfriend like she said she would."

I stay silent because I know he has more to say.

"So what I want to know now, is why."

He folds his arms and he suddenly looks very big.

"I joined the army Sir."

"Hmmmm."

I have a feeling that her parents don't know about the whole kids thing so I make it seem as if me joining the army was the sole reason of our break up.

"I'm sure you have your reasons as to why you would do that. But you know what Callie? I sure as hell am damn proud of you."

The way he's looking at me, with pride written all over his face, as if I was his own daughter!

For the first time since I met him today, I give him a genuine smile. That is, until I remember Arizona and I were still broken up. But I quickly dismiss the thought and hope that he didn't catch that.

* * *

Arizona's POV

"I can't believe you're going already." I say, my voice muffled from being pressed into my father's coat as we hug goodbye at the airport.

"Well, you're 34 already. That's how quick time flies ey?" My father chuckles as we let each other go and he picks up his duffle bag.

I smile at him and remember how many times I had to say goodbye to him when I was younger, when he had to go on tour.

And suddenly, I realise that Calliope will be leaving for her tour soon. We haven't spoken since that day my father realised that we were no longer living under the same roof. I could never bear to think 'broken up', yet be able to say it.

"She's a good person."

"Daddy?"

"Callie. She's a good person." He emphasises.

I nod and then realise that he's expecting me to say something about her.

"She leaves on her tour in a few days."

He folds his arms and I can tell he's really thinking about what he's going to say to me next.

"See her off."

I had found that my shoes were very interesting when I told him that she was leaving on tour. But my head snapped up when he said that.

"She needs your support. She needs all the support she can get to come back alive." He pauses there, takes a breath and continues, "What she also needs, is to know that you still love her with all your heart."

He knows. I envelop him in another bone-crushing Robbins hug, "Thank you."

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**I have big plans from here out! So keep reading to find out!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews. They really help with writing faster updates! Enjoy =)  
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**Chapter 4**

Oh God packing is such a pain in the ass, Callie thought to herself as she heaved a rather heavy box into the living room. For some strange reason, no one seemed to want to help her pack. She had asked Mark but he quickly said that he had plans with Derek to go to Joe's, and Cristina was nowhere in sight.

She let out an audible sigh and sat on one of her boxes. She was sitting in silence until her phone started ringing.

She took a look at the caller ID and answered immediately.

"Addie! What's up darling?"

"Oh nothing much, just calling to tell you I'm right outside your door."

"You what?"

Without ending the call she rushed to her front door and opened it.

"OMG what are you doing here?" She exclaimed while giving the redhead a hug.

"Well, our dear friend Mark felt guilty for not helping you pack. So he gave me a call and here I am!"

She made it sound as if she lived next door or something but Callie was extremely grateful. Although Addison wouldn't be able to lug as much boxes as Mark, anyone would do!

"So how's the packing going?"

"Uhm, I never knew how much stuff I had."

"So where are these things going? Storage?"

"Nah my father is sending a truck to pick up my stuff and get 'em going to Miami."

"What? Why? Won't you need them when you get back?" Addie put her hands on her hips and looked expectantly at Callie.

"Oohhh dear. I know that look Callie Torres."

"What? There's no look!"

"That's the there's-something-i-need-to-tell-everyone-that's-dreadfully-important-but-I've-been-hiding-it look." She sighs and sits down on the box that Callie was sitting on before Addie had called.

"Well… Oh alright… I don't have a job here anymore."

"Webber FIRED you? You're the best damn orthopedic surgeon Seattle has ever seen!"

"No no no it's not like that, I mean… my first tour is a year long. I can't expect him to hire someone and then fire them just because I'll be back."

"Wait… YOUR TOUR IS A YEAR LONG?" She stood up as she said this and semi-shouted in disbelief.

"Uhm, yea?"

Callie tried to give a smile to enlighten to situation but Addie was having none of it.

"I guess that's up to you… But what about Arizona?"

I knew this was going to come up, Callie thought to herself.

"She said she loved me."

"Of course she does Callie. But the question is what are you going to do about it."

"I can't ask her to wait for me Addie. I mean, I joined the army to pretty much freaking find myself! She deserves someone way better who knows who they are and… not…"

"Not what?"

She sat down on the couch and whispered the most painful sentence, she could physically feel her heart hurt, "Not want kids…"

* * *

The truck came to pick up Callie's stuff the next morning. She was due to fly to Afghanistan to begin her first tour in two days time. Thankfully, the driver was kind enough to help her load all her boxes into the truck. Callie made sure to tip him generously before he left.

She was feeling relieved as she bounded up the stairs and back into the apartment when the sight of the living room made her halt.

It was… so empty. Callie had no idea that there were so many things around the apartment that belonged to her.

Callie heard keys jingling and the door opening but she didn't move from her spot.

"Well, the apartment looks really empty now."

"I'm sorry."

"When are you coming back?"

"I don't know."

Cristina made her way over to the couch and sat herself down. She didn't even remove her coat or put her bag down.

Callie slowly walked over and sat beside her.

"I asked Owen to move in."

"I'll get the landlord to transfer my portion of the lease to him then. I'll sign the papers first thing in the morning."

Cristina stood up and abruptly walked towards her room. But midway to her destination, she stopped and turned around.

There were tears.

"Cristina, what's-"

"You better come back alive." She wasn't crying, but slow tears were falling down her face.

Callie knew better than to make empty promises.

Silence fell for a while until Cristina decided it was probably better if they just ended the conversation.

* * *

Callie felt nothing short of horrible, heavy-hearted and just plain sad. Everyone around her seemed to be walking on eggshells. And all of them repeated the same thing. That she had to come back alive. If she could guarantee that a hundred per cent she could laugh it off and tell them, "Of course I'm coming back alive!", but Callie wasn't that kind of person. She knew the risks, came to accept them whole-heartedly and was prepared if the worst was to befall on her.

She was through her second glass of wine when a knock on the door came.

Ooh maybe it's Mark she thought to herself as she got up from the sofa.

She opened the door to come face to face with none other than Arizona Robbins.

Before I can even register the fact that she was standing right in front of me, she barges in and puts her lips to mine before I can even react.

I kiss her back with as much passion as I can, putting everything into the single kiss, when she pulls away.

Only then do I realise that she was crying.

"Arizona, I-"

"Don't go… Please don't go. Stay in Seattle. Stay with me. But don't go. Don't go…" She pleads as she places her hands on my waist and brings me into her warmth.

"As much as I'd like that… You know we can't. There's so many issues between us that we can't solve."

She only cries harder as I speak. Geez, i think I have a new talent other than surgery. Making people around me cry.

I bring her over to the sofa, she's still clutching on to me for dear life.

It takes a while for her to calm down enough for her to speak, but her arms are still around me.

"I knew you would say that… but I had to try."

I stroke her gorgeous blond hair and breathe her scent in.

"This might be a lot to ask…"

"You can ask me anything."

"Ok then. Do you think we can still keep in contact while you're on tour? My dad used to send me letters while he was on tour and I used to write to him too."

"Of course we can Arizona."

She lets go of me and gives me a small smile.

"I love you."

The confession surprises me a little, and this time it's my arms that go wrap around her.

"I love you too." I mumble into her shirt. It's probably not the best thing to say before leaving on a year long tour which may or may not end up very well on Callie's end, but she couldn't help herself.

She chuckles and squeezes me lightly. "This kinda feels like our break up."

I squeeze back and give a small laugh.

"Calliope?"

"Yea?"

"I'll wait for you."

Did she just say? I bring myself out of her embrace and I see disappointment flash into her eyes. But they disappear just as quickly.

She clears her throat and repeats it.

"I'll wait for you Calliope Torres."

I don't know how to respond so I close my eyes. She brings her arms around me and I let my tears fall freely.

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This chapter was a little hard to write...But i managed it in the end!

The next chapter will feature the letters between Callie and her friends. This idea is dedicated to one of my readers. The next chapter is for you! You know who you are =)


	6. Chapter 5

**I had this written up yesterday but i could't upload it cause of internet problems... So here it is! Albeit a tad bit late~**

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**It's for the better**

**Chapter 5**

Dear Calliope,

As this is the first letter I'm sending you to wherever you are in Afghanistan at the moment, I think that it should be all about me! But don't worry I'll leave a little space for news about everyone else.

I bought a new car. You've been telling me since you've met me that my decision to buy a second hand SUV wasn't the smartest. But hey in my defence, I lived in an apartment more than 20 minutes away from the hospital! I needed a car ASAP! I won't forget that time we had to push my car to the side of the road when the engine started smoking! I know you're going to laugh and say that it was more like you who did the pushing but someone had to be at the steering wheel right? Besides, you're big and strong and you work on bones. I operate on little people! So I got the new range rover. I can't help it. I think I have a range rover fetish or something… It's dark blue and just waiting in the parking lot for you to drive. I know how much you love driving. Though when you get back you have to promise you'll let me drive your thunderbird! I actually do miss you being the backseat driver, crazy as that sounds!

Work has been same-same. I've been working the late night shifts for the past few nights so I'll finally get a day off tomorrow. I think it's time I restocked my refrigerator. Oh yes Calliope, Arizona Robbins knows how to cook now! My chicken picatta may not be as awesome as yours but it's passable! At least I'm not ordering insane amounts of pizza and giving the pizza places easy money anymore!

I think that's enough for one letter about myself. I know you would want to know what's going on with everyone else. You may not admit this, but I know you're one hell of a gossip too! It's not just Mark!

So Cristina and Owen moved in together a few weeks ago. They seem really happy. I feel a little bad for Teddy but she seems happy for them too. I'm glad they got to put everything behind them and just move on with life. Life is just too short you know? Mark is still trying to win Lexie over, it is a little difficult considering Alex is in the picture. Poor Lexie though! I honestly have no idea what she's going to do!

Derek and Meredith are always making eyes at each other across the hall and walkways and whatnot. I think they're going to try for another baby. When Meredith finally told Derek about the miscarriage. He was the most amazing and sensitive and understanding man I have ever come across! I don't honestly know what he said to her but she came out crying and smiling at the same time! Talk about McDreamy-ness?

So I'm going to stop here, and make you anticipate my next letter. Yes I know I'm a tease!

I love you. Stay safe and take care of yourself.

Love,

Arizona

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Dear Arizona,

I'm so happy that you finally got a new car! And yes I can't wait to test the handling of the new range rover! You know me well! And the cooking thing was going to surface sooner or later. It's really annoying how you can eat insane amounts of pizza and donuts and still be so sexy ;)

I can't tell you where I am at the moment, I guess I'll just try and describe my current camp. I'm sitting down in my tent, I'm sharing it with a Red Cross volunteer. Her name is Freda, she's really awesome! She's my entertainment here since we're not allowed to have radios or anything that sends out frequency. That's as much as I can say I'm afraid!

We get up at 4 in the morning and lights are out by 8pm. It's a strict schedule that I have learned to cope with! One time I was out on duty and only got back to camp at 7pm. By the time I had dinner I couldn't take a shower! So I went to bed with dirty hair and muddy legs, I tried a wet towel but it didn't do much good so I just waited the next day, only to be sent off for duty again and arrive at 7pm again. So I survived not being able to shower for more than 48 hours. At least in the hospital I could jump in the shower quickly and hop into the on-call room. It's really different being a doctor over here.

I can't let anyone know about the things we do here so I'm sorry about that… but I miss you so much Arizona. Ou damn, I need to finish writing this and hand this in to my superior! I'll try to say more in my next letter.

I love you more!

Calliope.

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How you doing kid? Wow. I am totally new to this letter writing thing. Arizona told me that I could write to the Army or something and they'll send it over to you. That's kinda cool. Though she also mentioned that I have to be extremely patient… I miss you loads Callie! You're not just a phone call away anymore… In fact, I actually have no idea where exactly you are in Afghanistan.

Things are going alright with Lexie. I know for sure that if you were here, I would have been bombarding you with questions about what I should do to win her back. But Arizona has been an amazing person to me lately. I think we're proper friends now! You know, not the I'm your friend only because my best friend is your girlfriend kinda thing, but actual friends. I don't really have that many so it's nice having someone else to talk to about Lex.

We've decided to take it slow. One date at a time. As I'm writing this, she said yes to our first fresh start 5 minutes ago. I wanted to let you be the first to know! But I guess Arizona is technically going to know before you do since I'm probably going to see her in the cafeteria for lunch with the rest of the gang. I'm gna let the rest of the people who love you write down some stuff now! – Mark

What up Callie? Just wanted to let you know that by the time you get back, I will be a Cardio God. So hurry up and get back so that you can witness my greatness and godliness in the OR. – Cristina

Hiya Callie, take care of yourself! You were always the soul of the party. Can't wait to have some tequila shots with you when you get back. – Meredith

A little advice, I know you love every second of your sleep (Arizona told me that little bit of information) but if you wake up 5 minutes before everyone else, you definitely get the shower first and the better bits of food! We all miss you around here. Arizona especially! – Teddy

Sun block is your best friend. Take care of yourself over there. – Owen.

Seattle Grace misses the best Orthopaedic surgeon it's had the pleasure of witnessing. Come back soon. – Richard

It's annoying not being able to call you for a consult. So you better come back soon so I can do so! – Bailey

P.S. WE ALL MISS YOU!

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Dear Calliope,

Everyone wrote a letter to you the other day! I hope you got it safely, I really hope you get this one safely too! It took about a month for me to get your last letter. I can't lie and say I wasn't waiting for it everyday.

The rover is running brilliantly. I finally got myself an iPod and hooked it up to my car. It was an advanced self birthday present! I really wish you were here to celebrate it with me. I can't wait till you get home.

Ok, I'm continuing this letter after being paged 911 to the ER. And now I don't have time to write what I wanted to write because I need to get this to the army office right now, if not I might have to wait two months before I get a reply! So I am so sorry for the shortness but at least I get to say I love you.

That's the most essential thing that I have to say.

I love you.

Arizona

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Dear Arizona,

Can you let everyone know I got their letter? I'm only allowed to post one letter a time so obviously it's going to you. It really made me smile when I received it. So can you let them all know I'm doing perfectly fine and make sure to thank Teddy and Owen for their awesome advice!

We moved to another site yesterday so everyone is so exhausted. My bunkmate is snoring like a lion at the moment. Good thing I had some practice sleeping with noise ey Arizona? I am so so tired so I'm afraid I have to give a short reply to your short letter anyway. Since they come by to collect post tomorrow morning I'm afraid I can't squeeze anything in here anymore.

Don't worry alright? I'm doing fine. I'll be back before you know it!

Love ya!

Calliope

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My dearest Calliope,

It's my day off today so guess what? I get to write a much longer letter than the last time! I am so sorry about that! I was drowning in work and I know it's a lousy excuse because you must be extremely busy as well and yet you still manage to write me something. So thank you.

It's been five months since you've left. It feels short and so long at the same time. Short in the way that you only have seven more months till the end of your tour and long in that… you still have seven more months till the end of your tour! Does that make sense? Well, I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say!

Oh I think I forgot to mention the new Ortho attending! She's amazing. Her husband is a lawyer and they have the two most adorable little girls in the world! She's really friendly too. First night she was here, she insisted that Teddy, Cristina, Lexie, Meredith and I go to Joe's to get to know each other. I had a blast that night! I can't wait for you to meet her. She's been an amazing friend, Teddy and I get along great with her so the three of us are always scouting for new restaurants when we have the time.

Mark and Lexie are doing really well. Mark actually came to me and Teddy for advice! Can you believe it? So I told him that this time, its everything but the sex. Cause I mean they started their relationship with sex the last time, so we totally don't want a repeat of that. They've gone on… I think 5 dates? And Mark insists that until Lexie says (and means it!) I love you, they're not going to have sex. I think Lexie is actually enjoying it, I mean, I'm sure they're going to have sex sooner or later, but for now I guess it's nice not to have any expectations of that sort of thing you know? They're just getting to know one another again. It's really sweet.

Another important thing to tell you is that I moved to a new apartment, its 10 minutes away from the hospital so it's a lot better than my last apartment. It still isn't as close as the apartment you shared with Cristina, but I'm thinking it's pretty darn good! it has a pretty good view of Seattle as well. I'm up on the 11th floor so if all the lifts in the building decide not to work, I would have to do a very vigorous workout up the stairs.

Counting down the days till you get home,

Arizona Robbins – girl who loves Calliope Torres veryveryvery much.

P.S. the picture is of me in the newly renovated PEDs wing with some of the kids! Loads of volunteers came in to paint animals on the wall so it looks amazing.

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**Ta-daa! I look forward to hearing your thoughts!**

**Another thing, I cannot wait for September 23! I'm so excited for season 7!**


	7. Chapter 6

**I am so so so sorry for the delay!**

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Chapter 6

Arizona was bouncing off the walls, everyone could see how excited she was about Callie's year long tour almost ending. With just a month to go, even Cristina was a teeny bit excited about Callie coming back because she really missed their random dance outs in their underwear. Though no one had spoken about living arrangements, everyone assumed that Callie would be moving in with Arizona.

Mark was the next person who was just as excited as Arizona was. He was already planning a huge party for Callie the weekend she was back, actually more like the second they was back and getting all her close friends to be free for that occasion.

"So how many more days to go Robbins?" Mark asked as he leaned on the counter next to the blonde.

"28 days and counting!" She couldn't keep the smile from emerging.

"Fantastic! I've already pre-ordered red wine, white whine, tequila, whisky, vodka, rum… What else do you think we need?" He clapped his hands with enthusiasm and was sporting a very broad grin.

"Geez Mark, you're not trying to get everyone roaring drink now are you?"

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That was this morning.

13 hours later, Arizona was still bouncing off the walls. But not as much. Her shift was just about the end when a kid came in coughing up blood all over the place. April Kepner had been the first one at the ambulance bay and had diagnosed him. She was scrubbing in when she suddenly stopped and took a moment to look into the OR. She thought about how his parents were anxiously waiting outside for good news. This thought brought her to how she has been anxiously waiting for Callie to arrive back to Seattle, back home, back into her arms safe and sound.

"Dr Robbins, we're ready to go?" April looked as if she knew she was interrupting some deep thoughts.

"Thanks Dr Kepner." She tied the knots around her scrup cap tighter and set off. A small smile beneath her scrub mask. She had a good feeling this kid was definitely going to make it.

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After Arizona's 5 hour long successful surgery all she wanted to do was take a hot bath and sleep in her own bed. She dropped her bag on the floor, put up her coat as she usually did and went straight to the mail room to pick up her mail. Her heart soared as she saw the familiar handwriting on a yellow envelope.

She dropped her letters on her coffeetable, making sure Callie's letter sat at the top of the pile that were most likely bills. She made herself a cup of tea. It had become a routine that she would come home from a long day at work to find a letter from her loved one that she enjoyed reading over a cup of tea. Today was no different. Except, maybe this would be the last letter Callie would write, seeing as she was coming back home to Arizona soon.

She sat down on her red couch and opened the letter.

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"Lex can you get some beer for me from the fridge?" Mark was sitting down watching a super exciting football game when rushed knocks were heard on his door.

"Mark get your lazy ass off of the couch and get the door!"

"I'm going, I'm going! Geez. Women."

"I heard that Marcus Sloan."

"So who is it?" Lexie came back into the living room holding a bottle of beer when she realised it was Arizona.

Except something was wrong. Really wrong. Arizona was wearing nothing but a tank top and shorts. She looked like she was freezing but what convinced Lexie that something was wrong was the fact that her eyes were red from probably too much crying and she was visibly shaking.

Knowing that Arizona wanted to talk to Mark, Lexie politely excused herself and went to Meredith's. She knew that when Callie had left, Mark had found himself suddenly close friends with Arizona. He wasn't friends with Arizona just because Callie was his best friend anymore.

"Blondie?" He asked softly as Lexie closed the door to their apartment.

Arizona's mouth moved, but no words could come out.

Mark was quick to step forward to catch the blond as her legs seemed to just give way at that moment.

"Arizona you're an icicle! Did u run all the way here in nothing but shorts and a tank top?" Mark exclaimed until he thought about why Arizona would be so upset.

"Oh god did something happen to Callie? Arizona. Answer me!"

Arizona had to find the strength to put a few words together because she could see that Mark was starting to panic.

"S-She's… f-fine… fine Mark."

He pulled back from their embrace and looked worriedly in her eyes. "Then why on earth did you run all the way here if she's alright?"

His question seemed to push her over the edge as she started bawling right away.

"Uhm uhm I'm sorry for whatever it is I said that upset you!" he quickly apologized. He then decided he better shut up and wait for her to calm down before saying anything.

It felt like a few hours before the crying subdued. Mark was stroking her head and was so patient and gentle with Arizona.

Arizona suddenly stood up and a few more tears escaped but she was no longer bawling her eyes out.

Mark stood up next to her and decided maybe he could ask her again, but before he got a chance to, Arizona spoke.

"She's not coming back Mark." Arizona's words were clear but Mark's brain took a while to process.

"She's not coming back." She repeated. "She apologized and gave me no god damn reason why!"

Mark was speechless. The Callie he knew wouldn't do this to her family. The Callie he knew wanted to rush back to Seattle as soon as she could. He didn't understand what had changed her mind.

What was Callie thinking? Was she going to continue her tour? Was she affected so badly by what she's seen over there that she doesn't want to come back?

There were so many questions in Mark's head but only one question lingered in Arizona's mind.

Had Callie stopped loving her?

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**I know it's annoyingly shorter than usual but i just wanted to get this out there.**


	8. Chapter 7

**This chapter is a little dark but i do hope you enjoy it!**

It's for the better

Chapter 7

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Callie's POV

This is my fourth year in the army and I guess I should be thanking every God out there that I'm still in one piece. There have been people who have come and gone, but I'm still here. I was recently promoted to Major and I suppose that's kind of cool. My mind wanders to whether Arizona would think my new title was cool.

Gosh, has it already been three years? Because it feels as if it was just yesterday I sent a single line to Arizona telling her that I wasn't coming back. Not only was it a single-lined letter, I didn't give her any reasons whatsoever. I felt that whatever reason I gave would have been a lame excuse, so I opted for the cowardly way of not giving any reasons at all.

A month after that letter, she sent me a letter. I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprised, because I was expecting her to be angry at me and give me the silent treatment or something, to hate me until she eventually would forget about me. I never opened that letter but I kept it in a small tin box that I brought with me wherever I went. I thought that if I opened it and read what she had to say, I would have changed my mind about staying. So I opted never to open it.

Another letter arrived after the first one, and then another after that. There was a total of 12 letters before she stopped writing completely. I didn't open a single one. I just stared the front of the letter. There was a strange comfort in seeing her beautiful handwriting even if all I could see was Calliope Torres.

After two years in Afghanistan, I was re-posted to Iraq. I had the option of returning back to the US for a week but I turned it down. Sometimes I regret my decision not to go back, other times I think it was for the best really. The only people I send letters to are my parents. Mark has sent me one letter, but I refused to open that too. My parents are questioned why I didn't return after my first year, but they respect me enough to know that they shouldn't press for an answer. My letters to them are mostly the same, the gist being that I'm still alive.

Still alive, but barely living. Is there such a thing? I save lives everyday, but I feel like a fleeting ghost. A nomad moving from space to space, having no real home. My heart is thousands of miles away, with someone who probably hates me for not coming back. I don't blame her, I'd hate me too.

My hands move to the dog tags around my neck. There is my own, stating my name and my blood type and whatever information the army has deemed necessary for those on the battlefield. And then there is Laura's.

Tears begin to form but I pinch myself hard enough to keep them at bay. It's been three years since that incident happened. Three years since it tore my life apart. Three years since I lost my best friend.

I close my eyes and steady my breathing. Its 4.30 in the morning and I need to be up and about soon.

"Callie?"

I open my eyes towards my tent opening and call out to Nathan.

"Yea Nate?"

He unzips the tent and pokes his head in.

"Do you want me to set up the equipment? I think we're heading out for a test run soon." He says this softly because he remembers what day it is. He knows how much today affects me.

Nate is a good man. He understands when to let me have my space, but he knows when I need his companionship.

"I'll help you."

"No way, you just rest up a little bit more and I'll be done before you know it!"

He disappeared before I even got a chance to say anything.

I start to think about the test run. This is the third time this week that we've had a test run with all the equipment. I made sure to clean my gun last night so its good to go. The thought makes me laugh. If someone told me 5 years ago that I would be able to assemble a gun, load it and shoot, I would definitely have told them that they were crazy.

When I decided not to go back to the US I enrolled into the Army full time. I wasn't just playing the medic anymore, I had the added role of a soldier. The training was more than tough, it was excruciating. I wasn't the fittest person out there to be a soldier but I trained hard. Being able to run pretty much a half marathon in less than 2 hours deserves bragging rights ya? But its not a choice for us when we have to run, it's a matter of life and death.

Being in Iraq is no joke. There are ambushes left, right and centre. I have personally been involved in 3. The first one, no one in my platoon died and we suffered a minor blow. A few injuries but no deaths, I patched up most of the soldiers myself. The second one I was out fetching supplies when our camp was ambushed so I suppose lady luck was with me that day. But the third-

"Oi Callie! Get up!"

Nate shakes me out of my thoughts by re-poking his head through the tent. His sea blue eyes are soft and gentle today and his sandy blonde hair was recently cut, making his eyes stand out more than usual.

"I'm up mother."

"Ha Ha. Very funny. Get your ass up."

"Hey, I outrank you! Do you really want to talk to your superior like that?" I joke with my tongue out.

The situation in Iraq is serious, no doubt about that. But the banter between Nate and I is pretty much the only fun I have. Nate is Captain so I outrank him by one rank. I entered the army as a doctor and was automatically ranked Captain. Nate on the other hand has been in the army since he was 24. According to him, life as a lawyer wasn't as glamorous as everyone thought. He was tired of his office job and wanted to do more. When his parents and sister died in a car crash, it was the last straw for him. He felt that he had nothing left in the US so he signed up to the army.

I guess we're similar in that way. Similar in the fact that we both joined the army to find out who the hell we are.

We're close… but we never talk about Arizona. We were out in town one week and got wasted when I told him about Arizona. That was the first and last time we mentioned it. For some strange reason I think he understood that it was just something I couldn't talk about.

Other than the Arizona thing, we chit chat about anything under the sun. From what restaurants we like to dine in, what books we like to read, what kind of music is best to dance to, we got along really well. With Nate as my best friend it wasn't as lonely. It used to be three of us…

I'm reminded again of what day it is today. I refuse to think about it any longer so I step outside.

My army boots trudge along the ground as I make my way towards the leader of our camp, Colonel Henry. He was a buff guy in his 50's who kind of reminded me of Richard Webber, knowing when to give the right advice. With his great leadership, morale was high and we would go to sleep feeling like we did something truly worthwhile.

"Major Torres. I see you're finally up."

"Yes Sir, apologies Sir." At the same time I'm adjusting my gun strap. The Colonel always makes sure that his team are well prepared for anything.

He waves his hand around and dismisses my apology. "We have to be prepared."

"Sir?"

"I received some intelligence the other day about some guerrillas in the area." His face is grim.

We never know when they strike, how many people they bring, what weapons they use. The best tactic is to be ready, because moving camps isn't feasible. We have to protect the village people, innocent people just trying to survive. All other nations have withdrawn their troops so its up to us to protect what we can.

I'm watching Nate talk to a few privates when I hear something rustling.

Suddenly there's a lot of shouting and gun shots can be heard everywhere. Before I know it I'm blasted away by the impact of a grenade. I wasn't hit directly but the force was enough to daze me for a minute. When my sight returns to normal I see Nate and I rush to his side.

"What the hell is going on?" I shout to him.

He doesn't get the chance to answer. Someone manages to wedge a few bullets into his right leg.

I turn towards the areas the shots came from and my finger is about to pull the trigger when I'm stricken from behind. I fall to the ground in an instant.

My vision is hazy but I see feet running towards me. Someone grabbing my hair pulls me up and something is placed over my head to prevent me from seeing anything. Not that I needed it, I pass out from the pain from the blow to the back of my head.

During my last moments of consciousness, as I feel myself being dragged away, there's only one person on my mind.


	9. Chapter 8

**I am realllyyy sorry for takes AGES to update. But here's the next chapter!**

* * *

There's shouting.

Who's that shouting?

"Callie…"

Hmmm. That's funny. I swear that sounds just like my name.

"CALLIE!"

Someone slaps me. Owww that hurts!

"WAKE UP YOU USELESS WOMAN!"

I groan in protest as I force my eyes to open.

"Oh thank God. I guess you're not so useless after all!"

Another involuntary groan escapes me before I can reply.

"Gee thanks Nate…"

I stand up and feel the back of my head. There's blood and it's still really sore but at least I could stand up straight.

"What happened to…?"

"They're dead."

His breathing is heavy and I only just notice the amount of blood that has pooled around his leg. There is a trail a couple of meters behind him and I realise he must have dragged himself over to me to make sure I was alive.

My mind hits overdrive as I look around. Its still as noisy as ever but there aren't any guerrillas in sight. What the hell is going on?

"Torres!"

The Colonel jogs over and I immediately give him a quick report on what happened.

"We have to clear the area. There's a bomb not very far from here. I've ordered all personnel to evacuate the area immediately."

The existence of a bomb was nothing new. But Nate was injured, how fast could we get out of here?

"Torres, get Jones out of here as quick as you can. I'm going back to the bomb site to assess the situation."

I bend down to where Nate has slumped down after the Colonel arrived, he is still semi-conscious but the loss of blood and the shock of getting shot multiple times must have been getting too much for him.

"Nate! Come on buddy. Think of home for me! We gotta get home right? Me and you? We were going to get a place together and I was going to be your wingwoman to score you some girls!"

I say whatever comes off the top of my head as I struggle with his weight. His left leg seemed uninjured but the loss of blood was really affecting his movements.

I'm moving as fast as I can, yet it feels like I am walking in slow motion.

He laughs, or well more like grunts but at least I managed to get a reaction out of him.

My joy at finding that he was at least responsive was short lived when a blast from behind struck us at full force.

I don't know how Nate did it.

But somehow in that split second it took for the blast to reach us, he managed to shove me in front of him in order to get most of the impact.

I think this whole 'my world going black' thing is getting old before it happens again for a second time.

* * *

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Arizona. Stop tapping."

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Well I'm bored. So too bad Mark."

I continue tapping my pen against my chart and rest my chin over my palm. Like any other time when I find myself unable to concentrate on anything else… I wonder… What was Calliope doing right now?

Gaahh. Don't think about her Arizona.

After Callie's last letter telling Arizona that she wasn't coming back was the last time she heard from her. Arizona couldn't bring herself to send anymore letters.

Send being the keyword as she never got rid of the habit of writing letters to Calllie once in a while.

"You wanna join us in Joe's after your shift ends?"

The tapping stops.

Arizona looks at her watch, 9pm.

"Sure, why not. Not like I have anything better to do…"

"I thought you were going on a date tonight with what's her name?"

"Uhm… I cancelled? I'll probably bore her to death and vice versa anyway."

Mark raises his eyebrows and silently asks her to explain.

"You know… sometimes you have this awesome surgery and all you want to do is tell the whole world how you did the procedure and how the patient managed to pull through because of blab la bla?"

Mark nods his head in understanding. "Yea I tell Lexie about my surgeries and she tells me about hers."

"Well imagine going out with someone who yaps about… uhm… orchids all the time. And say, you were totally not interested in them. I mean at first its interesting, cause the pictures of the orchids are super pretty. But after two dates… they all kinda look the same!"

"Aahhh. I see. When are you going to schedule the third date then? Cause you know what happens on the third date!" He waggles his eyebrows.

"She can.. treat your 'lady garden' with her hands and-"

Until he remembers she said she cancelled.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Hang on a second. You cancelled on her when it was gna be the third date?"

"First of all Mark. Ew. Lady garden? Ew. And second of all, well…"

Mark ignores her first statement.

"If you were that bored of plants-"

"Orchids." Arizona immediately corrects him.

"Plants. Then how the hell was there even a second date?"

"The Robbins charm is just too strong to resist I guess." Arizona shrugs it off like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm sure." The sarcasm was not lost on Arizona.

He gives her a cheeky smile and goes back to reading… whatever it was that he was reading.

They go back to their silence minus the tapping of Arizona's pen on her charts.

"Hiya Arizona! Mark!" Lexie comes in and greets the two enthusiastically. She leans down and kisses her husband of 2 years sweetly and a tiny part of Arizona is extremely jealous of them.

She starts tapping her pen against her charts again at an even more furious speed than before.

Her mind whips right back to Calliope. After she left, Arizona tried dating other people.

Tried with a big fat capital T for Torres.

But none of them could cut it. None of them could cook a mean chicken picatta like her. None of them referred to themselves as a rock star like her.

None of them were the Calliope Torres that Arizona's heart longed for.

She looked outside at the sky and thought. Hey at least we're starring up at the same sky right?

As disgustingly cheesy as that sounded, it was the only thing she felt she could do with Calliope in a strange way cause Callie could be starring up at the sky at that moment too.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

* * *

Unlike the first time I pass out, this time I wake up of my own accord.

I was looking up to the sky that was so blue and there wasn't a single cloud in sight. The sky didn't mirror our current situation at all.

There's a heavy weight on me but I don't have the strength to move. I could only just stare at the sky.

My mind was foggy and it took up all of my energy just to keep my eyes open.

Suddenly someone looks over me and they're probably shouting but I can't seem to hear the words.

He's not shooting at me so he was definitely a comrade.

I can't recognise their voice cause I can't hear anything clearly. I can't recognise their face because it's so blurry.

Everything was just so darn blurry…


	10. Chapter 9

**Here's Chapter 9 folks! Thanks for waiting :)**

* * *

"Your son will be perfectly fine Mrs. Lee."

She reciprocates the genuine smile that the Chinese woman flashes in her direction before pulling her into a tight hug and sobbing.

Arizona had performed a surgery on her son to remove his appendicitis, although an almost everyday procedure for her, but to any parent, surgery meant serious business.

She walks out of the patient's room and comes across her colleagues watching the small television stuck in the corner with grim faces.

Arizona places her chart back at the nurse's station and looks up to the television.

"There was an ambush on US and British Forces yesterday in Iraq. Civilians and soldiers alike have been killed." The blonde reporter was saying.

"At the moment, we have very limited information about what happened but what we do know was that there were two suicide bombers who had acted as decoys as a bigger bomb was snuck into the base camp."

A gasp was heard, it might have been one of the doctor's or one of the patients or one of the patient's relatives, friends, whatever, Arizona didn't care. Her eyes were glued to the television and she was hanging on to every word the reporter was telling her.

"The US and British forces returned fire and the troops were able to locate the bomb. However, the bomb disposal expert on site was not able to successfully defuse the bomb before it exploded. It was an improvised explosive device that he could not have detected."

Images of soldiers and the base camp at what Arizona assumed was where the bombing has taken place were shown.

"Now over to Scott for the weather report…"

Arizona turned her back to the television.

It was almost repetitive. Bad news was on everyday without fail.

Charts were roughly grabbed and the force Arizona used to open them could have tore them apart.

The news was always reporting deaths and injuries and situations that no one would ever think about or want to ever get into.

"You okay?" Teddy walked over to Arizona and placed her hand over her best friend's shoulder.

"Well, news about how there are still 50,000 troops over Iraq and lots more in Afghanistan and people dying over there pops up on the news all the time."

Teddy stays silent, knowing that Arizona still had things to say about the matter.

"And yet… Callie doesn't contact… Any of us. I mean I know Callie's parents wouldn't hide anything from me. But then again I did sort of break her heart… And… if she were… you know… someone would tell me right? So I guess in that sense, no news is good news."

At the end of Arizona's ramble Teddy gives her a small smile, "Owen and I went to Iraq and we came back in one piece Arizona. Wherever Callie is, I'm sure she's alright."

"Callie's badass." Mark says, joining in the conversation. "She's probably an even bigger rockstar over there, saving lives on the hood of a car, sand blowing around everywhere while she takes her Ray-bans off her face, bossing people around."

Arizona can't help but smile when she remembers Callie telling her what she said to the chief when he didn't give her the attending position. That she was a 'rockstar with a scalpel'.

"Maybe she even learned that trick from Owen! You know the one where he stuck a pen in somebody's throat to intubate them-"

"Excuse me, doctors. Chief Webber is requesting a meeting with all heads of departments in Conferences Room 2 in 10 minutes. A page will be sent out in a minute but since y'all are here I might as well let you know now!" Nurse Sonya gives them a really big smile before going into the office, presumably to do more filing.

"Wow, somebody must be getting some really good sex."

Teddy elbows Mark on his side for good measure. "Geez Mark, is sex really all you think about?"

"So you're telling me that if you had really awesome, fantastic, mind-blowingly awesome sex, you wouldn't be smiling like that?"

"How do you even know she's that happy with the sex she's having with… whoever she's having it with? Or even if its sex that she's happy about. I mean she could've had a really orgasmic… donut or something!"

Arizona turns to Teddy expecting her to agree, only to be met with a look saying, 'Really Arizona? You would smile that much over a donut?'

"Oh because-"

"Meeting in Conference room 2 guys." Derek cuts in and dumps his charts and sighs.

"What's up with you?" Mark folds his arms across his chess and bumps his elbow against Derek's shoulder.

Their topic of Nurse Sonya's sex or sex-less love life is forgotten for the moment.

"Chief said the meeting is about soldiers coming in from Iraq. We don't know how badly they're hurt, but to have to come over more than 6,000 miles to get medical treatment…" He didn't need to finish his sentence for them to understand what he was trying to say.

Teddy's soft tone breaks them out of their thoughts, "We better get going then. I'll see you later Arizona?"

"Yup, OR 2 for Baby Jenna's heart surgery."

Teddy gives her an encouraging smile and walks towards to lift and the rest of them who were paged follow behind her.

Arizona usually felt uneasy after news like today, but with Seattle Grace involved in it somehow, she was conflicted between wanting to see Callie… but that would mean that she was hurt, which was something Arizona definitely didn't want. But she wanted to know that Callie was at least all right.

Feeling like the vicious cycle in the mind had to come to an end, she decided to do something more productive and went to the playroom to grab the scrabble board to play with Jimmy in room 34.

* * *

"Ngguhh…"

"She's coming around." A female voice says.

"Major Torres?" This voice is male.

It takes Callie almost every ounce of energy just to open her eyes.

"Alrighty, Major Torres, blink twice if you can hear me."

Callie does what she is told and someone offers her a sip of water from a straw that she accepts gratefully.

"W-what happened?"

"You had a bit of a minor concussion yesterday. We're sending you along with fifteen others in need of better medical facilities that we cannot provide here."

Callie nods and is just about to pass out when she forces her eyes back open to ask the doctor a question.

"Hey Doc, is there a Nathan Jones here?"

She prays with all her heart that she hears the answer she wants to hear.

"Ah yes, Captain Jones has been put under an induced coma. He'll be flying out with you later tonight."

Knowing that Nate was sort of okay and was hanging on was enough for Callie, she was so tired… she didn't even have the energy think of exactly where she was going to be flying to that night before her eyelids shut involuntarily and sleep took over her.

* * *

**I guess the next chapter *might* be the reunion we've all been waiting for!**


	11. Author

First of all, I'd like to apologise profusely for not being able to complete this story. I know I've let a lot of people down but I just can't see myself writing about Calzona anymore. I kind of lost interest in the series as a whole.

Sorry everyone!


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